The Four Days and Christmas
by Secret Hate of Indecision
Summary: One-shot documentary with UPTE characters. Can be on its own. It's Christmas with the Cullens, & Alice is hyped to do a bunch of Christmas things. Experience things from a curious Bella's perspective. Mess ups, carols, and hammers! All vamps! Merry Xmas!


**lol its me again! sorry you havent heard from me in a while, especially on the human story. well, i'll talk bout that later **(read authors note at the bottom)**. ANYWAY, this is kinda likee an excerpt/documentary chrsitmas thingy, kind of like an addition to my vampire story UPTE, although it is sort of OOC. its just a oneshot, a long oneshot, pretty clean and pretty innocent. i wasnt sure what i was striving for. humor? fluff? oh well. cullen christmas here we go! **

**jsut so you know, its kind of like a sum of things people do for christmas, cullen style. maybe not really, jsut i did this for fun. :P  
**

**while and if you read this, look at the dates and times, if you want, and sorry if it sucks. i didnt even revise it much, just wanted to post it, although i shoulda done that a while ago. lol, happy holidays!**

--

_**December 20 – 4:21 AM**_

I leaned against the side wall of the living room with a bemused expression. The little pixie danced around the room, thick rolls of lights held tightly in each of her hands.

The giant "grizzly bear" with curly brown hair appeared in the same room, dropping a humongous box of who knows what onto the white carpet floor. Mr. Emotional (as grizzly now referred to him) followed in soon after, heaving a heavy sigh as he dropped a second box of Christmas decorations. My angel appeared after that, his full lips pressed in an unhappy line, although his golden eyes were amused with humor.

The only sane ones were me, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme.

Now of course, I was pretty sure that Edward and Jasper fell under the same category, although Alice and Emmett were demanding in setting up the Christmas decorations. For God's sake, they even wanted to put up Christmas lights outside the house. Of course, I understood that we hadn't celebrated Christmas in so, so long, but this was just way out of proportion.

Besides, even Edward thought the entire idea was utterly absurd.

"We'll need flashy lights, three inflatable snowmen, animated and lighted reindeer, and a chubby Santa balloon inflator thingy to decorate the front lawn. And then in the _backyard…_" Alice had mumbled earlier today.

Edward had rolled his eyes, although it was me that spoke.

"Alice, why do you even plan on decorating the inside of the house, or even the outside of it? Oh, scratch that. Why do you even plan on decorating the house at all?"

Alice didn't look at me while she replied, but scurried around the vast garage/storage of the Cullen mansion. "_Because_, Bella, I want everyone to know that the Cullens are _not_ anti-Christmas people!"

"And you plan on displaying that by putting up Christmas lights in a house located in the middle of a forest?" I raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief.

She shrugged. "Maybe a satellite will spot us." She winked as I snorted.

And so came to this current moment.

Rosalie leaned against the wall next to me, staring at her husband in disbelief.

"I can't believe I married him," she said as she stared at Emmett, who was trying to untangle himself from the wires of lights. Rosalie's voice was an octave higher than normal as she attempted to be dramatic. In fact, she sounded like she was about to cry.

I sighed, playing along with her. "Yeah. I can't believe you married him either." We both shook our heads in disapproval as Alice scurried out the door, her hand entwined tightly with Jasper's, Emmett following after them dragging behind a very irritated Edward.

Rosalie and I stayed rooted to our spots, while Esme and Carlisle were seated on the sofa comfortably. Esme was knitting a scarf, I believe, and Carlisle was engrossed in a ridiculously thick textbook. Controversy could be heard loud and clear outside.

"Dammit, Emmett, haul me up," Alice said.

"You know, we have a ladder," Edward sighed in response.

I could almost imagine Alice glaring at him. "Who needs a stinking ladder when you have Emmett? Now, Emmy, do us both a favor and pick me up."

Silence passed while Rosalie and I listened.

"Oh, ah crap!" Alice cried. "Christmas lights are such a hassle! Hand me the hammer, Jasper."

My eyebrows shot up, and I was about to barge out of the room to find out what on Earth she had planned for the poor hammer, but Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder and shook her head at me, a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

"Edward, you're not Jasper. And that isn't a hammer."

I could hear the laughter in Edward's voice. It had been so long since he'd joked around and annoyed Alice. "Of course it is, Alice."

Alice let out a groan. "Those are pliers, Eddie. I need a hammer. Don't look at me like that! I know my tools."

I heard a sigh.

"Thank you, Jasper. See? This is why I love you."

We heard the sound of metal hitting plaster and then a loud crash and bang.

This time, Rosalie didn't keep me from barging out the door. In fact, she followed after me.

My jaw dropped. "Holy…"

"Shit..." Rosalie finished with eyes wide.

If the situation weren't so serious, I would have burst out laughing at the four vampires, all covered in plaster dust and all of them tangled in Christmas lights. The looks on their faces were another story – all of them wore shocked, fearful expressions, except for Edward, who sighed and then mouthed, "I love you" to me with my favorite crooked grin.

I giggled and mouthed "I love you" back.

His grin was off his face in an instant, however, when Rosalie called in a weak voice, "Carlisle…Esme…"

I didn't have to look to know that Esme was _not_ happy.

--

_**December 21 – 5:22 PM**_

"Alice, I highly doubt the guys got us THIS many presents," I whined at the huge load of things Alice had bought for Jasper, added onto my load of things for Edward. Socks, shirts, whatever. I felt like I'd bought the entire mall using Alice's Discover and Visa cards. I inwardly sighed, although credit cards were so handy.

"Nope," Alice smirked. "They got us just as much as we got them, although I'm afraid Edward went overboard. Remind me to remind you to not go into your bedroom."

"Um, why?" I said as I dropped the shopping bags onto the floor of Alice's room.

"Well…" Alice hesitated before telling me. However, the smirk on her face widened. "He has his own little…Christmas tree…waiting for you with all _you_r gifts."

I grimaced. He still liked spending money on me. Of course he did.

"There's no way out of this, is there?" I said in a defeated tone.

Alice shook her head solemnly. "I'm sorry; Bells, he got you Abercrombie & Fitch, two plane tickets to Australia, three stuffed mountain lions, an iPod player, an iPod, a diamond necklace with matching diamond earrings – both 24 K, a brand new Mercedes, a silver Porsche, oh, and I think he's even planning on buying an _island_ for y-"

"Oh, God, stop!" I moaned as Alice laughed. "Way to spoil his gifts for me, Alice. He can hear you! Oh! He's torturing me, isn't he?!"

"Actually, Bella, I think you are insane. If Jasper got me those things…" she smiled dreamily.

"Yeah, well, you're not me," I snapped.

"Bella, sweetie, don't ruin the holiday spirit with your total resentment to expensive gifts," Alice said sternly. She sounded like a motivationalist. "Learn to cherish the words of Joy to the World, embrace the red nose of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and justify the righteous, courteous manner of the white snowmen on the snowy peaks of Europe."

I stared at her, uncomprehending a word she'd just said.

"Translation?" I asked, still baffled.

Alice shrugged and handed me a roll of gold wrapping paper. "I have no idea."

--

_**December 22 – 6:23 AM**_

I leaned comfortably against the side of the living room again, watching the little pixie dance around the room with a huge box of blue ornaments in one hand and an enormous roll of gold ribbon garland in the other.

Grizzly brought one of the boxes, which we'd stuffed in the corner of the room, out to the center and pulled out angel ornaments and red, velvet bows.

Edward stood next to me with a pleased expression, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

"I've never seen them be so quiet," he mused quietly as he kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah, I know," I agreed lightly.

It was quiet while we watched the two vampires scuttle around the room, arms embracing enormous boxes of ornaments and tree decorations.

I couldn't help but be curious. "Do you think something is wrong with their vocal chords?" I whispered seriously.

Edward laughed softly. "Maybe. Ah, maybe Carlisle surgically removed them, and now they're lying in a dumpster somewhere in the cold, snowy mountains of Antarctica."

I smirked. "You're so nice, Edward."

I felt him shrug. "You can't help but be irritated, love." I could hear the teasing smile in his voice, and reached up to kiss him.

"Merry _early_ Christmas," I said against his warm lips, so soft to me since I was a vampire.

He chuckled and kissed me harder, my arms snaking around his neck.

"I love you," he whispered, his sweet breath flowing lightly into my mouth.

I smiled. "I love you t-" Edward pulled back suddenly and held out a pale hand in front of me, a bright pink, crystal ornament landing directly in his palm not a second later.

He glared at Emmett lividly, who smiled innocently.

"_Please, _we don't have time for your mushy gushy, lovey dovey moments right now. This is important, and Alice and I need your help."

I glared at him, too. "Well, after your generous, patient, respectful, _affectionate_ act, I don't think that's possible. We're going to stay here and watch you." I smiled angelically.

Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but you'll regret not helping us once you find out how _beautiful_ this house will look thanks to the fine works of Emmett McCarty and Alice Brandon-Whitlock-Cullen-Hale."

Jasper trudged down the stairs now, an amused yet disappointed expression on his face.

"Nice choice of last name for my wife, Emmett," he said acidly.

Emmett grinned. "Thank you."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Enough, you two. Emmett, I'm climbing up your back. Jasper, love" – she tossed him a box of purple, sparkly ornaments – "please put those onto the tree."

Then she grabbed two more boxes and tossed one box of candy cane ornaments to Edward, and another box of gingerbread ornaments to me.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I thought we said –"

"Yeah, well, too bad," Alice grinned smugly. "I see things." She tapped her head, grabbed a giant, golden star, and jumped onto Emmett's back, climbing swiftly up and sitting on his shoulders.

"Yeah, if only you could've 'seen' the destruction of the front of our house," Rosalie muttered, also appearing in the room.

"Oh, Rose!" Alice gasped excitedly, ignoring her what Rosalie had said. She somehow managed to grab another box of ornaments to toss to Rosalie and then climb back up Emmett's back in a matter of two seconds. Rosalie looked at her with a bewildered expression.

"Oh, stop staring at me like that. Get to work, sis."

Rosalie glared at her as she began to hook the decorative items onto the humongous tree Alice had bought online. Don't ask the price of delivery.

"So, what's Esme's punishment for you guys?" Rosalie said casually.

Emmett sighed. "She decided no video games for me for a whole month, and no shopping for Alice for a week. It's so unfair! I'm not the one who hammered the damn roof down!" he grumbled childishly.

"Agh, Em, stop moving!" Alice grunted, ignoring his comment as she tried to steady herself on his shoulders. "Do you want me to fall and rip off the top half of this tree, too? If that happens, we'll have a disproportionate, decapitated tree to show off to the world. And we both know I can't buy another one in time for Christmas."

I frowned. "Well, you know, Edward and I could go sh –"

Alice shot me a glare, and I immediately became quiet, going back to decorating the tree with ornaments.

Alice sighed contently and I could hear the smile in her voice. "Now, that looks awesome."

All of us stopped what we were doing and looked up to find a sparkly, golden star sitting neatly on top of the tree.

--

_**December 23 – 7:24 PM**_

"Get. Over. Here. Right. Now!" Alice screeched at the top of her lungs as she chased after Emmett, who clutched bubble wrap tightly to his chest.

"NO!" he replied as he ran down the hallway, grabbed up some foam cushions, dashed through the living room, and scrambled up the stairs at vampire speed.

"Those are to protect the mini town buildings!" Alice screamed after him while Edward, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, and I watched the scene with amused expressions. "And that was made _specifically_ for the B&B building!"

Rumbling could be heard in the higher stories, and pretty soon, Emmett was running down the stairs again, Alice three feet behind him.

"Can't catch me! you can't catch me!" Emmett exclaimed smugly.

Suddenly, Alice froze, and her eyes became blank. A second after, she screamed, "STOP!"  
But it was too late.

Emmett ran right into the huge, beautifully decorated Christmas tree and knocked it into the wall with a powerful impact. Everyone froze, staring at the newly made mess and damaged wall. Esme was too stunned to say anything.

It was silent before Rosalie spoke.

"Does anyone want to go snow boarding?"

We all glanced at each other.

"Sure," I replied with a shrug, taking Edward's hand and leading him out to the garage. I slipped into the shotgun of his Volvo and he smiled at me, taking the driver's side.

Everyone except Alice and Emmett proceeded to their cars. Jasper swung by the sports equipment wall in the garage and grabbed boards and other gear for the fun trip.

_**Three hours later**_

"I'm happy," I told Edward as we stepped back into the Cullen mansion.

Edward smiled and kissed my cheek. "That's good. Although…I hope this isn't the first time you've been happy in the past centuries?"

I laughed. "Nah. Just proud that I didn't slide off a cliff or knock over a tree. Admit it, love, that's should be put into the Guinness World Records."

"Of Bella Swan," he finished with a teasing laugh.

I laughed along with him and reached up to press my lips gently against his.

It was difficult to forget that that we were vampires, or that Edward was a vampire, whenever I kissed him. He did very humanly things, of course, and obviously I had always known this. It's just…it was very easy to get carried away when passionately being with Edward. And that is why I'm thankful for his nifty control. However, this time, Edward didn't seem to mind me wounding my fingers into his hair and running my hands along his chest, over the fabric, of course. He even pressed me tighter to his muscular chest, his lips moving fervently against mine. It was like a perfect imitation of heaven on earth when our lips were together.

Then someone cleared their throat, and my heaven on earth replica disappeared in a flash.

Edward chuckled and pulled back against my ever-eager lips, and he had to put his hands on either side of my face to keep me from going on.

I smiled sheepishly at him and tried to catch my breath.

Edward grinned crookedly and took my hand, leading me away from the walkway of the garage.

"Oopsie," I mumbled bashfully as everyone laughed.

Edward smiled warmly at me. "Love, if you want, we can go upstairs right n –"

I shook my head, no matter how appealing the thought sounded. "I'm curious to see what Alice and Emmett did in the past three hours." I paused for a moment, thinking, and then looked up to meet his affectionate gaze. "And then after, we can go do whatever we wanna do." I winked at him, and he smiled at me, flashing his perfect white teeth.

Our fingers laced together, and I turned around, seeing a big flash of white.

"What the hell?" I said before I could stop myself. White confetti-like particles blew in my face, and I heard Edward chuckle.

Alice giggled. "Be glad I didn't do it while you guys were having that moment of yours. Besides, check out the St. Nick's Square town I did."

"I helped!" Emmett cooed as he bounded down the stairs.

Alice grabbed my other hand and dragged me to the dining room (we passed the living room; I was glad to see that the tree was looking normal and in one piece again. The wall, however…) where the table was covered in puffy cotton and variously designed buildings. Antique store, Victorian mansion, Church, the Greenhouse, Bed and Breakfast, Ski Lodge – mini structured buildings adorned the white table, little light bulbs illuminating the buildings. Miniscule figurines of children and adults were placed randomly around the town, and the whole entire display was exotic.

"Wow, this is amazing," I said genuinely. "All yourself?" I asked Alice, ignoring Emmett's pout.

Alice smirked and nodded. "All me," she said smugly. Then she jabbed a finger at Emmett. "That dude would have stepped onto so many wires if it weren't for my visions."

Emmett looked away shyly, and Rosalie smiled and kissed him.

--

_**December 24 – 8:25 AM**_

_Ding dong._

I snuggled closer to Edward's side, completely envying Carlisle and Esme, who were excused from this caroling due to the hospital work.

Alice was literally bouncing in place, and Emmett, no matter how stupid it looked, was too. Jasper had his arm around Alice's waist, and he leaned down and kissed her inky hair. Rosalie was examining her hair out of sheer boredom, and Edward and I were snuggling next to each other. I mean, the tension waiting for the people to open the door was ridiculous, and then singing to them was even more ridiculous.

Damn Alice and her threats.

We heard a click as the door unlocked and an old lady of about 75 stepped out, her gray hair pulled into a bun, her glasses low on her nose, and her pink lips at first twisted into a look of shock (at our striking appearances, I suppose?) and then a friendly, cordial smile, wrinkles along the length of her cheeks. She was scratching the fur of a gray cat cradled in her fragile arms, and she wore a thick, light pink robe.

"Oh, look, P.C., we have visitors," she said warmly.

Alice smiled at her. "Hello, ma'am, we're here today to sing to you Christmas carols. Name the song, and we'll sing it for you! So, miss, what song will it be?"

"Oh, P.C., they're offering to sing to us!" she exclaimed joyfully, rubbing her nose against the cat's.

"Not meaning to pry," Emmett said in a formal, deep, business tone. "But what does P.C. stand for?" Rosalie, who stood behind him, kicked his calf, and he let out a low grunt in response.

The woman smiled, oblivious to the quick physical interaction. "Paper Clip," she said seriously, completely unabashed.

We all stared at her until Alice spoke.

"So, miss, what song will it be?" she repeated calmly.

"P.C.! Hmm…"

We all waited, and Rosalie tapped her foot impatiently.

It seemed like forever until Alice decided to talk, her voice concerned.

"Ma'am, is everything – "

The woman snored, her head leaning forward a little bit. The cat meowed.

"M-ma'am?" Alice gasped, reaching out and shaking her shoulders slightly. The woman woke with a start.

"Oh, what is going on here?" she said. Then she caught sight of us, her eyes raking over each and every one of us. Edward tightened his grip around my waist and kissed the top of my head. She stared for a moment longer before she sauntered away, not even bothering to close the door behind her.

Alice's eyes widened. "Um, miss, you left the door –"

The woman walked up the stairs, P.C. still locked in her grasp.

We all looked at each other with perplexed expressions, and Alice sighed, reaching out and closing the door for her.

"We'll need to check up on this lady later, send her to Carlisle in case there is an emergency," Alice said seriously.

_**Twenty minutes later**_

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way," we sang. _Edward and me. Edward and me. Edward and me. _"Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh." _Keep singing, Bells. This way, Alice can't separate you and Edward. You don't want that. No matter how idiotic, repulsive, stupid, moronic, ridiculous, absurd, preposterous…_"Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh."

The Labrador retriever looked at us with its tongue dangling out, its brown eyes darting back and forth between each of us. It wagged its tail playfully, gave a low bark, and trotted away from the front of the house to the back gate.

--

_**December 25 – 9:26 PM**_

I stared at the plane tickets.

"Really, is this necessary?" I whined, although I'd never been to Australia before.

Edward just laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

"I want you to see the world, love," he said. "One for you. One for me. A week in Australia," he murmured in my ear.

I bit my lip, staring at the two tickets. Edward sensed my uncertainty, so to make me more certain, I suppose, he trailed his lips along my jaw, down my neck, to my collarbone, and back up again. He did this over, and over, and over again until I finally gave in.

"You win," I muttered.

Edward smiled against my neck. "That's good."

"You don't play fair, Edward Cullen," I gasped, for he still didn't move his lips.

"No," he agreed lightly as he cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead. "I don't," he added against my cheek. "But I honestly don't think you mind." He dragged his lips down to my neck.

"Mmm…"

He pulled back, and I felt him take my left hand and clasp something onto my wrist. I narrowed my eyes at the bracelet, then at him, and then at the bracelet again.

Before I could speak, he interrupted.

"Bella, love, please, please let me spoil you," he implored, his face just an inch from mine. "I _want_ to spend money on you. Just this once."

"But you've already given me so much! It's nearly the end of Christmas and the gifts keep coming," I pouted. I raised an eyebrow at him. "And what about the honeymoon? You spoiled me."

He smiled warmly and rested his forehead against mine. "That too."

I couldn't help it; his smile was contagious, for I grinned and pressed the tickets against his chest. "You win a lot of things the same way every time," I sighed.

He shrugged. "I'm a very persuasive person."

"You're not persuasive. You're _seductive_," I corrected, wrapping my arms around his neck. "And I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too."

I leaned over to kiss him, but he flinched back. I frowned at him, and tried again, only he moved back again. He had his lips pressed together, trying to keep a smile from forming.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he smiled full out. He kissed the corner of my mouth and then pulled back quickly, taking my hand into his pale one tightly.

"Where are we –" I asked as he pulled me across the golden carpet of his bedroom. He gently put a finger to my lips, stopping me mid-sentence, and stopped right underneath the doorway of his bedroom.

I leaned against the side of it, having no idea what the point of his crooked grin was, although it was alluring and very dazzling.

"Um, am I supposed to be grinning?" I asked, confused.

Edward laughed and eyed above us. I followed his gaze, and felt a happy, affectionate smile form on my lips.

"Kiss under the mistletoe," I said with a laugh as I looked at him.

"Tradition, I believe," he murmured, wrapping an arm around my waist and cupping the back of my head with his hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his fingers wound in my hair.

"Can't break a tradition, now can we?" I teased as he inched closer, a hint of a smile on his full lips.

"Don't want to do that," he said, playing along. Then he gently crashed his lips to mine, and the whole imitation of heaven on earth came back again. My fingers wound in his soft, auburn hair, and he pressed me against the side of the doorway.

"You know," I said casually against his lips. "It still wasn't very nice of you to avoid kissing me like that."

Edward pulled back a fraction of an inch, his eyes still closed, although a smile was on his lips.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he laughed, opening his eyes for a second to look at me with the liquid gold.

He closed them again and brought his lips to mine.

"Merry Christmas," I replied happily.

--  
**SO WHATD YOU GUYS THINK?!? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEEW! i dont think its spectacular, to be honest. but ehh. it was fun to write :P  
**

**HUMAN STORY: im thinking about putting Parallel intuitions on temporary hiatus, or temporary pause or whatever, as said onmy profile. ive actually started another story, which i dont plan on posting until im completely done with it. cuz i dont like to start something and not finish it, so yea. and i hate doing that to you guys, plus i dont like to make Author Note chapters in mystories. T-T anyway, yeah.**

**hope you guys have a happy holidays. sigh. i went nowhere, just stayed at home :D lol. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! :)**


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